Last week I shared my obsessive listing practices, noting that if it’s not on a list, it doesn’t exist for me.
The extent of my daily exertions ranged from forcing myself out of bed and down the stairs to lie on the couch and then reversing the process to go back upstairs to bed. (There wasn’t even showering. It was pretty gross.)
So the last thing I was worried about was checking off anything on my lists.
And that made this weekend incredible! Well, as incredible as a weekend can be when you’re dizzy and groggy and pathetic.
For the entire weekend, I never once made a list, read a list, or considered a list. I didn’t think at all about what I had to do, and I didn’t feel guilty about it at all (a feverish stupor has that effect).
And when I started to feel a bit better on Sunday, I just did whatever I felt like doing—I read the September issues of the fashion magazines that I never seem to get around to; I caught up on a month’s worth of DVR’d episodes of “Bones,” “Modern Family,” “30 Rock,” and “Glee;” I tried out some new watercolor pencils I had picked up weeks ago; I read a bit more in The Help by Kathryn Stockett.
It was wonderfully relaxing.
There is a certain amount of joy, no matter how many body parts hurt, in lounging for hours, surrounded by dozens of magazines (yes, dozens!), and leisurely paging through them without worrying about what you have to do next. It’s the ultimate indulgence to have three episodes of “Bones” stretching out before you without having to tick off a list of chores you must do before you can watch. It was nice to go completely to-hell-in-a-handbasket (what does that even refer to???) and not follow an eating plan or write down everything I put in my mouth. (My scale probably won’t agree, but it was so nice to not count carbs and calories for three days!!!!)
Because I didn’t use my lists, all the to-dos that were hanging over my head didn’t exist for the entire weekend. Now I know for sure that ignorance really is bliss.
I can’t do this every weekend—ignoring my lists will definitely set me adrift, never to drop anchor again. And I suppose it’s a little sad that I had to get sick to convince myself that sometimes it’s okay to just see where the day takes you. But I do know one thing for sure…
I won’t wait for another sick day to let myself be completely list-less.